Monday, May 27, 2024

MMO Fan Shot: Open Letter to Steve Cohen


Fan shot by Roger Cormier

Dear Stephen,

Congratulations on your recent purchase. You are going to break my heart. You are now the owner of Major League Baseball, and that’s what you’re doing for Major League Baseball fans. This is part of the job description. I’m not ironic, just realistic.

But I have some demands. Asking is really just one favor and easy to follow. Please. Don’t destroy our minds in a brutal, bizarre, specific way, like our predecessors Frederick and Jeffrey.

I read that Jeffrey doesn’t like you. This is a good start. But after decades of Mets fandom, I’ve always speculated endlessly about who offers such juicy news nuggets and their relationship to disseminating publications. Maybe you put it out there. If so, I approve. It will prove that you know what makes Met fans happy.

Don’t do this again. Trying to control the narrative is the game your predecessor tried to play, much more often than the game that puts the best baseball team they can play on the field. After 10,000 hours of practice, they will find it decent. Malcolm Gladwell needs to print the withdrawal.

All you have to do is spend your money. In a team. The Yankees analytics department has about 20 members. Do you have two in Mets? Hire nine Yankees, 20 away from the Bronx. It will be symbolic, astute and cheerful.

You have 6 children. I’m sure he’s a nice and intelligent young man. Some people share their passion for baseball. Don’t let them make a baseball decision.

The same can be said for yourself. Hire a baseball player to make a baseball decision. Find knowledgeable baseball people who aren’t white guys while you’re in it.

Strengthen the reconnaissance department. Alternatively, create an MLB-class reconnaissance department and then enhance it.

Avoided insider trading. Yes i know SAC Capitol Investors was fined $ 1.8 billion and you were basically SAC Capitol Investors. But with the excuse that you receive so many emails in a day, there’s no conceivable way to avoid slammers You can read them all, Even those that mark an emergency.

Over the past few years, you may have noticed that some successful MLB teams are using technology in a malicious way. You may have noticed that they were caught, and fans managed to get in the way during the season when fans weren’t allowed inside the stadium. Don’t tolerate these pranks. Remember, you don’t have to do that because you’ve spent money on developing scouts and players, and the talent of free agents? It’s not worth it.

Never say that Mets is bitten by a snake. Unlucky is the remnants of Fred Wilpon. Luck is the rest of the design and Steve Cohen is at home. You can print this on the third baseline for free.

Have you had a favorite Met for the last 10 years when you’re no longer good at baseball? that’s nice. Call him Take him for dinner. Don’t put him back in Met’s uniform.

Do not ask your fans to sign the Pledge of Allegiance.

If the player is injured, do not let him play.

If the player is confused, do not board the plane.

extend Michael Comfort.. He is not “Really good boy” “Not a superstar” If you do this, I will go personally after you. In fact, his new name is Superstar Scooter or Scooterstar.

give Dominic Smith Hug (after both have been tested for COVID). Listen to what he has to say.

Give Mr. Met a salary increase. No matter what he makes, it’s not enough.

Save the Binghamton Rumble Pony. If you have time, Rowdy.

If your general manager and his lieutenants want to dismiss the manager, let them dismiss the manager.

Let your general manager and the rest of the front office know what your salary is.

Don’t dismiss executives Give birth to an unmarried baby..

If you have Brodie Van Wagenen around, apologize for every five chairs he sees.

Tell James Doran that he doesn’t like his band.

Do not stingy with your retired number.

Open dog day care during home games.

Let Ron sit down.

Love Mets and your fellow humans in your heart, your soul, and your wallet. We love you

We look forward to working with you in the future.

Roger Colmier

* * * * * * *

Is there anything you would like to say about Mets? Share your thoughts with over 25,000 Met fans who read this site daily. Send your fan shot to [email protected].

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Ebenezer Robbins
Ebenezer Robbins
Introvert. Beer guru. Communicator. Travel fanatic. Web advocate. Certified alcohol geek. Tv buff. Subtly charming internet aficionado.

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